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I have skateboarded since I was 11/12 and always felt I battled a mindset that was detrimental, isolating, destructive and addictive. Skateboarding would provide me peace within chaotic times in my life, however, it took me until 2020, lockdown, for me to encounter the full force of my destruction and to eventually reach out for help. In 2020, my marriage fell apart, my mental health suffered drastically, and my addictions took over. I continued to skateboard; however, I was battling demons I did not understand.
No matter how bad things got, I could go out on the board and ride down the street and feel a small moment of peace or freedom. This held me together when the rest of me was falling apart. I cannot quite put a finger on the emotion or feeling of being on my board, however, it is something I treasure and am thankful for.
I don’t write this for sympathy, but to show that having something you are passionate about, care about, and can do when things are not going well, you will still be able to find a reason to continue, to feel peace, to enjoy a small moment in time.
The beginning of lockdown happened, and to me it was a blur of chaos and depression that is hard to put into words. I muddled through it all, but I was slowly slipping further into a void that was devoid of emotion, full of fear, depression, and addiction.
In August 2021, I broke my toes, damaged ligaments and just messed up my whole leg while skating in a bowl in Fife. I waited over 3 hours for an Ambulance to come, it did not, and I had to be dragged out of the bowl in agonising pain. This was near to the lowest point in my life and in my twisted state, I felt like skateboarding and everything it involved had betrayed me. This was not true. I flew to England to stay at a house my friend had. I don’t like recalling this time; however, I chose to isolate myself from everything good in my life that friends, family and skateboarding had bought me. Instead I dove into self-pity, despair, and depression. I reached a breaking point and tried to end my life twice which failed.
After roughly a month and failed attempts on my life, I phoned a professional skateboarder in the USA who is a recovered addict who put out his phone number on Instagram for anyone struggling. I cried down the phone to this guy. He just listened without judgement and a sentence he said stuck with me. He told me, “were warriors dude, were, fu!@ing warriors”. This, from a skateboarder I had never met, but admired for his strength of character was enough to remind me that skateboarding and its community are amazing. I realised my skate community was in Scotland. So I returned, determined to stop the addictions in my life and to recover.
I won’t go into the full depths of my issues, however, rest assured, today, I am here, sober, stronger and more sound and peaceful than I have ever been. When I returned to Scotland in September 2021, I sought help and reached out to mental health charities, doctors, friends and addiction support groups. All of these I cannot thank enough.
When I was back in Scotland, I noticed that skateboarding, although injuring me now and then, was a thing I loved. The people around me who are involved in skateboarding all cared about me and wanted me to be well. The more I opened up to everyone, the more love and care I realised was there for me. Skateboarding had created a community around me of people who are friends. True friends. I had overlooked and isolated myself from this and could not believe how unaware I was of what I had gained from skateboarding. I was overwhelmed with support and started to investigate into how I could give back to skateboarding. This was when I found and undertook the Skateboard GB course to become and Accredited skateboard coach.
I had already left my old banking career which only fuelled my addictions and depression further and decided to set up as a coach with the hope it would lead to something within the skateboarding industry. I undertook this adventure for just under a year, gaining so much joy within skateboarding and helping people learn and grow. This ultimately led me to walking into Route One in Edinburgh for some bushings and seeing a job vacancy in the window. I applied that night and was shortly brought in for an interview and got the job I am currently in. I am grateful for how skateboarding has helped me learn and grow as a person. It has always been a positive influence on my mental health and outlook on life. Because of skateboarding, I am still here. Thank you skateboarding.
Ross Salitura
